If I really want to be free, I don't have to be better than anyone else. I just have to improve mysef from the prior day.

Love is absolutely insane, you're giving up your sanity for someone else. Not the utility friendship marriages. But clouded up emotional tumultuous relationships. It's like taking a drug. You are completely beholden to another person. I just watched the movie Her and it made it so much more obvious that love is just socially acceptable insanity. When you view it from the construct of loving something arbitrary you realize how crazy the emotion of love is.

I have not felt an actual emotion in recent memory. Everything has just been a chain of thought. I have felt anxiety and fear but mostly nothingness. The anxiety and fear was just my overthinking snowballing. I like to fantasize about feeling something but I really don't ever feel anything.