in

health subscriptions

These are things I have recently become a fan of since moving to the US and the conversations surround healthcare. Wisp, Apostrophe, His & Hers with their buzzfeed-esq quizzes for What At Home Injectable Am I? are truly the reason we non-immigrant aliens yearn to live on American soil.

Am I on Ed Tumblr or am I following Bryan Johnson? Well lucky for productivity maxxers, they’re the same thing now! Just kidding, I am a fan of Bryan Johnson, I think we should all aspire to have blood boys. In all honestly I believe Don’t Die is chaotic good and a catalyst for many trends we’re going to see in 2025, a few of which are covered in this post. And while men are trying to not die, women are trying to just live, with only 5% global research and development funding goes towards women's health but hey, until then I look forward to more a̵c̵c̵e̵s̵i̵b̵l̵e̵ ̵h̵e̵a̵l̵t̵h̵c̵a̵r̵e̵ subscription services.

community marketing

This pairs with ‘influencer trips’ being out, consumers are in their die hard fan era and a lot are incredibly fed up of seeing influencers being the only ones being at the receiving end of the fun parts of capitalism [free things]. I am a big fan of this movement, I would rather see 500 faces of those who feel a genuine connection with my company and product over dealing with [redacted]. Consumer hierarchies are changing rapidly, we live in an era where we have parasocial relationships like never before, we’re building for our peers, so we must see ourselves that way in our marketing. I feel like influencers are the wisdom teeth of 2024, a growing pain that will be moved so there rest of the teeth can live in harmony.

girltech

Pink ledgers, tippy type, [chipped] the girltech era will rein supreme and with that a huge untapped and previously unspoken for market. To the 23 year old SF boys thinking of launching another AI necklace but this time you’ll actually do it right. There’s a saying about insanity, and repetition, I forgot it. Anyway. As we see women driving consumer trends [and 80% of consumer spending], I think we might just see some big waves in wearable technology this year it may actually be… wearable? I’m dubbing it the Sundress Theory. If it can’t be worn with a Sundress, you will not find PMF as a wearable. This isn’t to rule out cyberpunk and biohacking as these movements truly are the fundamentals in which we stand, its about these products into the mainstream. wearing retainers at nightThis ones on me

savoury cocktails

As an olive girl, I am looking forward to seeing how down and dirty these martinis really can get. We are in prime yassification of everything that comes in a can so I am truly expecting olive oil martinis bev2go by Autumn 2025. I may be less of a fan of the olive’s pickled cucumber cousin, pickels, are expected to be the leading trend of the next year. I recommend keeping an eye on Good Girl Snacks two best friends who launched a pickle company this year. Following their content has been genuine chefs kiss for navigating the insanity of launching in CPG.

out

lip filler

I like getting filler, I also like it when my face looks proportional to my other features, but thats just me. Much like we’re seeing high end trends move towards a fitter physique over being skinny, we’re going to see anything that is heavily procedure focused [e.g. ozempic and filler] decline with higher tax brackets. In a time where things can be so easily bought, status will be in what can be built. Of course, the trend will come around to body injectables. We’re already seeing many celebrities not just dissolve their years of injectables but undergoing transformative facelifts at the hand and glove of an illusive plastic surgeon looking decades younger. I haven’t watched the Substance yet but I’m sure I will enjoy it, I like the tiktok fan edits.

rolexes

Health is wealth for 2025, quiet luxury is louder than ever, and not tweeting is free. I feel like the universe is just trying to complete the bingo card with the current timeline. No, you do not need to spend $4,000 on a Rolex to get people to respect you. No mum I won’t be bringing a girl home for Christmas, or any foreseeable holiday actually, nothing to do with my cuck complex, I just need an entry level Rolex. But for now, I would like to hold a minute of silence, out of respect, for Lucy Guo, The founder of Passes clocking in 730 Barry’s sessions [2 a day for a year], because, respectfully, what the f#*k, respectfully. 50 Barrys sessions will set you back around $1.5k in Santa Monica, thats twenty two thousand united states dollars a year on Barry’s classes alone. Health is wealth.

influencer trips

Brands saw heavy backlash this year after customer service plummeted and their airmails rose as they flew [ungrateful? if that the word, per chance] influencers to locations while disgruntled customers just watched — and seethed — and made tiktoks about it. TYB obviously, is our true beacon right now in community growth and rewarding genie community members so I am very excited to see their movement into 2025.

beige

Pantone’s colour of the year gives us nothing, there was so much potential. Gen Beta, welcomed in by millennial parents with this seasons attempt of millennial grey. It’s giving Skims [derogatory]. This pitiful, nostalgic, hope for luxury beige is so 2020. A quick glance at the obvious Pinterest predictions shows vampy reds have survived fall and will be following us into the new year, as seen on style icons Dr Louks and our Boy On Trial. I also think that green, you know the one men keep tweeting about, will be very in. Luxury will be synonymous once again with colours that could only be obtained by crushing a bug that is since extinct, or lung cancer inducing pigments.

men with tumblr 2014 aesthetic

girl, if you’re still going for that it’s self harm at this point