For much of my life, I had wondered what one should look for in a partner. What’s the secret sauce? What’s the magic ingredient? This was a topic I had never really discussed with anyone but my parents. Their relationship is what I had always believed to be an ideal one, and if I could replicate even one percent of what they had, I believed I would have made it.

Ammu’s advice had always been that a successful marriage is one where you can find peace in your partner. Abbu had always mirrored her sentiments. This was also something that I had consistently observed in their relationship growing up. No matter the situation or challenge, they could always find peace in each other.

On April 24th of 2024, I met a girl for potential marriage. This was my first time at something like this, so I wasn't exactly sure what to expect from the whole thing.

The setup was quite cliché as far as arranged marriages were concerned—Our families met at an Indian restaurant in East London, and the girl and I were placed at a separate table on the opposite end of the restaurant.

She had come very well prepared with a set of questions on my religion, childhood, family, career, and personal beliefs. You know, the standard stuff. All I had on my side were good vibes and a fresh haircut.

In the hustle and bustle of recent work-related travels, and Abbu suddenly asking me to book a restaurant for a potential marriage meeting, I hadn’t had a chance to sit down and properly think about any questions.

As she sat across from me, her eyes expectant and a touch nervous, waiting on me to ask her a question, one bubbled to the surface of my mind:

“What makes you happy?”

She raised her eyebrows in surprise and paused to reflect on the question. She then offered a simple, one-word reply:

“Peace.”

I couldn't possibly have consciously connected her reply with what my parents had always said about peace—not in that exact moment, anyway. But I believe something in the back of my mind had. Something in my gut had realised there was a quiet wisdom in her reply that felt deeply right, so it had told my brain the following:

"We could get up and out of this restaurant right now and we'd be more than happy to marry her."

I loved it. In that moment, with that simple answer, I just knew. It had only been five minutes or so since we sat down, but I was already done. Anything and everything after was just a lovely bonus.

We tied the knot four months later, on the 9th of August, and it's been nothing but peace with my wife ever since—exactly as Ammu and Abbu had always said a marriage should be.

P.S. The second time I met her was three weeks later, on the 18th of May. She had made my favourite Bengali dessert, Shemai, as a surprise. I suppose it's true what they say—the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.