1. Wake up at 3:47 AM. Do you think the Roman Empire lads were lying in bed like a sack of spuds? No. They were out building roads. Get up and get your grind on, ya lout.

2. Cold showers are for wimps. Find a body of water close to a farm and jump into it at dawn, let the filth and toxins soak into your bloodstream. Bonus points if an animal tries to peck at you mid-plunge.

3. Breakfast is a scam. You don’t need food. You need momentum. Open your laptop and stare into the circle-jerk Twitter networking abyss until your body adapts.

4. Sell your bed. Sleep is a capitalist construct. Enter a REM-fueled trance state while balanced on one leg like a heron.

5. Meetings are for weaklings. If you need words, you’ve already lost. Stare into your colleagues' eyes while you take a leak on their sandwich to establish steel-clad dominance.

6. Hobbies are failure. Playing the guitar? Painting? Pathetic. If you’re not flipping distressed properties while doing Bulgarian deadlifts, what’s the point?

7. Take 27 supplements before noon. A real high performer starts the day by raw-dogging ashwagandha, magnesium, creatine, zinc, fish oil, and two capsules of something that’s banned in Europe. If your pish doesn’t glow in the dark, you’re doing it wrong.

8. Every meal is a protein shake. If you need a knife and fork, you’re eating like a medieval serf. Blend it. Chug it. Keep moving.

9. Breathing? Don’t be soft. Winners inhale through one nostril at a time while visualizing success. Oxygen should feel earned.

10. Before sleep (if you must): Whisper to yourself, “Did I optimize my output today?” If the answer isn’t “Yes, I am the apex predator of capitalism,” set the alarm for 2:59 AM and try again.

🔥 NO EXCUSES. ONLY GRIND. 🔥

Now go forth and be a machine, ya absolute savage.